Biscuit bathing suits

Is weird that I think baby bikinis are gross?

I would love to know: where do you stand on little girls wearing bikinis? Many of my friends think they are completely normal and fun and innocent. I think they sexualize innocent little girls. For example:

A bit of context: we’re taking a family vacation to Florida soon. This is P’s first trip since being toilet trained and I’m happy to be done with stupid, ineffective swim diapers. Of course, she’s outgrown all of her suits from last summer but, in shopping for new ones, all I can find are skimpy two-piece things.

Why?! For a grown woman, a bikini is basically like wearing a bra and panties to the beach. When they were introduced in 1946, the public initially thought the design was risqué or even scandalous. According to French fashion historian Olivier Saillard, the bikini is perhaps the most popular type of female beachwear around the globe because of “the power of women.” As he explains, “The emancipation of swimwear has always been linked to the emancipation of women.”

WOMEN! Not little girls.

A bikini top sexualizes and highlights something that doesn’t exist on a prepubescent girl. There is nothing sexual about a little girl’s chest. When you put a bikini top on it, it draws unnecessary attention to her body, in my opinion. Besides, you don’t see little boys running around the beach in Speedo briefs (a.k.a. man panties) like most European men. In fact, in my shopping lately, boys’ swimsuits completely cover them up in short-sleeve shirts and long shorts.

Children’s clothes makers produce these overly sexy things because people buy them. And I get that wearing a one-piece suit makes using the bathroom more difficult. But, for as long as I have a say, The Biscuit will be in one kind of two-piece: a sleeved rash guard with either shorts or a full-brief bottom. Like this:

Or this:

Never this:

Or this:

Those are just … ew!

My choice is not only for modesty but full sun protection. The swim shirts make avoiding UV rays so much easier. Have you tried putting sunscreen on a three-nager? That shit’s no fun.